The Guinea Pig, nature’s WTF*. It was first introduced to European society as a luxury (go figure), because when Spain brutally brought about the destruction of South American culture, it led to these little guys running around stray with no home, and aren’t they just adorable?
Well, I guess with all the bird eating spiders and blood sacrifices around, THIS and only this seemed cute.
But it begs the question, why on earth was this thing domesticated to begin with? This is where my research began. The Inca, who were a convoluted people to begin with, were the first to domesticate the Guinea Pig, but not for cuddliness and fur color, but rather meat flavor. This is honestly why I’ll always go to Peruvian owned pet stores. It can still be served as the main entrée in parts of Peru, in fact, so be advised.
However, they were not just food sources in the apparently lacking ancient South American diet, these little bastards were sacrifices to the gods. (I’m not really recommending that you share that with your children.)
Now, I’m not an expert in Incan mythology, but I do know that the story of Abraham and his sons becomes a lot more adorable (and creepier) if you replace them with Guinea Pigs. Afterall, let’s face it, Sarah was well past her child-baring years.
*No native inhabitant of Australia was, nor should be, considered in defining Nature.